Deal With your Teenage Daughter

O ne of the most daunting tasks in life experienced by a parent is to understand their teenage daughter problum.specially in india It is always tough to understand the behavioral aspects, feelings, wishes and requirements of an adolescent girl. However, there are certain common behavioral patterns that are observed in every teenage girl and can be a useful resource material to several needy parents.
Changing preferences is a very common symptom observed during teenage.Teenagers are very anxious and confused with their futures. Teenagers often suffer with temporary aloofness where they become more self-conscious, perplexed and are occupied with a feeling that their future has no social security.
In order to satiate their anxiousness, teenagers often get addicted to smoking, alcoholism, drug abuse and diet pills. Some teenagers even show a tendency for ‘self-mutilation’ or suicide. Teenager girls often tend to suffer with various disorders such as anorexia, bulimia and compulsive eating disorder. Distorted sexual attitude in adolescent girls can be due to uncontrolled exposure to pornography and sexually outrageous media. Adolescent girls tend to spend hours chatting and browsing on the internet.Rather than reprimanding your teenage daughter and finding faults with her behavior, it is better to befriend her. She may not consider you her best friend during her adolescent years but she would definitely not regard you as her enemy. It is hard to keep your cool but do not lose your temper. Try to reason with you adolescent daughter rather than screaming and shouting at her. You will be amazed at the results.
Determine what specifically bothers you about the way she dresses and the fact that she changes her clothes after she leaves the house in defiance of your rules. Your options include: Talk it out with a non-judgmental friend; write about it in your journal; or just think about it. Emotions to consider: Are you worried about what people will think of her? Angry that she disobeys you? Scared that she may get herself into a situation she can't handle?
Find a time to talk to your daughter when both of you will be relaxed and not bothered by other things Think about dinner time, driving to school, or going out for ice cream. You may even want to have several of these "sessions" before bringing up the clothing issue.
Start a casual conversation about anything to set the mood as chummy. Picking a topic that you both dislike and can make fun of is a good start.
When talking about ramifications, talk about the reactions that she will get and what people will think. Include teachers, grandparents, friends and possible friends.
Listen, listen, listen. If it starts to get heated stop and take a deep breath and say: "I think there are some things about this that you would like to say to me. In the past I may or may not have listened. Right now I'm ready to listen, so please take your time and don't be angry with me. That will make it easier for me to understand your point."
When you have listened to everything she has to say, ask her to listen to you and cover steps 4 and 5 again if you need to.
Agree to disagree. Talk about how you can find a solution that would work for both of you. Be prepared to compromise. Insist that she not change after she leaves the house as it is childish and fosters a lack of trust between the two of you.
Identify where you are not willing to compromise. Be clear and specific. After all, you are the parent.
The clothing that has been identified as completely unacceptable should not be in her possession. Give it to Goodwill or the like.
Agree to come back to the subject in a week or two to see how the solution is working. Then make sure you do!

Tips

Talk to her like she's an adult, especially when talking about ramifications. Privileges come with responsibilities.

You may need to have a couple of fun conversations with her before you can move into the clothing conversation. Use your own judgment.

It may not be fair or just but one of the results of dressing provocatively is that men are extremely likely to become sexually aggressive towards her. Is she able to handle the consequences?

If clothing she should not own re-appears in her closet, figure out where it came from. If she is buying it with an allowance, this income needs to be circumvented.

If a friend is buying it, this friendship needs to be addressed.
Take her to the mall, or look through a catalogue together, and identify clothing that she considers stylish and you consider respectable. Show her that there are many ways to look pretty without looking trashy. Point out pictures of celebrities you both like dressed in a way that you approve of.

If you feel yourself losing control of your emotions or the situation, signal for a time out. Say, "give me a moment, I need to gather my thoughts." Then walk away.

Take deep slow breaths. Think about your values and what it is that you want to teach your daughter. Focus on the result you want to produce.